Persistent Illumination

Two days in a row now, my friend Meagan has called me from Sudbury.

"Andrew! Please come planting! Just for a few shifts, we really need experienced planters, c'mon Andrew please it will be so good for you, all your friends are here..."

To get up to (somewhat)northern Ontario for a week or two, nothing but the great outdoors, great food and old friends, not to mention physical exercise...I'll just say that the offer is tempting. Very tempting.

?: Hello this is Best Buy, how can I help you?

A: I'd like to know if you have a particular model of air conditioner in stock...

?: Oh, I think we're all sold out of that item.

...

A: Sorry, you're sold out of all your air conditioners?

?: Yes, they've been selling like hotcakes all day, I don't think we have any more of that item in stock.

Dude.

Last night I went to a Buddhist meditation class at the Lotus Tea House here in Waterloo. Lotus is a fantastic vegetarian/Buddhist restaurant on Regina St., the food is elegant in its simplicity (and inexpensive as well - great in a student town). Upstairs they have a be-a-u-tiful meditation room, where among other activities they host meditation classes/practices on Monday nights. Normally you'd have to register in advance for the classes, but my friend gave me an "in" and I was able to attend.

I originally came to yoga from Buddhism, as I found the former to be a more holistic approach (a greater emphasis on the body as a tool for clearing the mind) and more physically active, but I still appreciate many things about Buddhism. And then I went back to meditating yesterday and I realized just how TERRIBLE my own practice had become! It's one thing to meditate in private, in a personal space, and it's entirely another to go with a group - to "take refuge in the sangha" (spiritual community) as one of the foundations of Buddhism extolls. The energies you engage in are different, and there is a greater requirement to hold yourself accountable to your own thoughts and emotions. And really, with all the stress in my life recently, let's just say that I could experience the physical manifestations of those experiences (ie, I HURT BAD).

Some people think that meditation is all about clearing the mind, which is part of it. But really, another part is learning to recognize the sources of your mind's clutter, and learning to do away with them. It was a great incentive for me to really take a more honest look at my current situation, and inspire me to be a bit more engaged in my healing process.

Really, I don't think I'd give up my yoga practice for a life of quiet Buddhistic contemplation, because yoga I love too much. But yoga for me is as easy as breathing on most days, where as meditation class last night kicked my scrawny butt ... and I like a challenge. I may just go back, as they encouraged me to.

Afterwards, I went out for healthy drinks with my friend from the class, and we chatted until a late hour. She's a very inspiring person, one of the few I know of who, like me, openly embraces and learns from many different spiritual traditions. In addition to the eastern traditions, we both find Christianity to be very valuable, for example, as well as traditional native teachings. Good times indeed.

When I sat down with Bill Tatham after his lunch keynote at the 2005 Impact conference, in addition to mining him about future plans and strategic knowledge, we talked about how he started Janna Systems back in 1990. Janna Systems being Tatham's tech startup that was sold a decade later for $1.76 billion to rival Siebel Systems, the largest ever sale of a public company in Canada.

Reflecting, Tatham that he had faced a choice: enroll in a masters' program through UW's Management Sciences, or start Janna Systems in his basement. Sort of like the tech world's Robert Frost, I guess.

Once the party had been cleaned up after (and the hangover subsided a bit) it became a great day to walk around in the park, revisit the two campuses, and just spend the day relaxing. Saturday night saw me pick up a few people - one from Cameroon, one from Poland, one named Yaacov :) - and head out to the RARE farm for a night of campfire and music. Mark-Jan Daalderop is becoming quite the accomplished musician, and all in all it was a good gathering.

I returned the next morning to plant some (read: many) onions out in the field, and generally chat with the interns and people. After a great home-cooked lunch (with fresh herbs!) we threw the frisbee around a bit, took a hike down to the river and just generally chilled out. Got home in time to miss the Sunday Night Settlers match at Michelle's, but still dropped by anyways to chat it up a bit. All in all, beautiful night to walk around uptown.

My most recent party - another take on last year's James Bond Party - went quite well on Friday night. All told there were about a dozen and a half guests in attendance, a very comfortable number considering that most of us spent the night chatting it up on the porch. A very diverse crowd, but a good mix - from some old friends about to head to law school to volunteer farm interns from France, everyone came in classy (or Bond) style and quaffed their fair share of martinis and wine. It was really great to see everyone dressed up in suits, formal dresses and such, though honourable mention go to Neal (in a lab coat), Margie (as a Bond girl) and Dan (in a tux).

Ah, and if any of you are reading this, you're welcome any time to come over and help me finish off the wine. ;) Pat and Lauren celebrated their last-ever dating anniversary (seven years!) before they get married this summer, and it was an honour to have them out.

Pics to follow!

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Of course, the other good part of today has been having all the housemates gone, meaning I get to turn up my music as loud as I'd like through my renovations. Party of one, oh yeah!

Including this little gem, for example, which couldn't be more fitting these days. Thank you, Faith Hill (go Nashville)!

"If I had just one tear running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery would be well spent

Yeah.... Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine

Yeah.... And you'd cry a little
And die just a little
and baby I would feel just a little less pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

Give it up baby
I hear your doin' fine
Nothing's gonna save me
I can see it in your eyes
Some kind of heartache, honey
give it a try
I don't want pity
I just want what is mine

Yeah... Could you cry a little
And lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me"

You know that commercial where the girl is doing gentle yoga in a large room, and the tag line is "... and the most unbelievable thing? This room was just pained two hours ago..."

Well, let's just say that's a bunch of BS...

Kidding here, not that I'd do yoga in a freshly painted room, that's just crazy. But my room is now a nice shade of "cinammon brandy," a colour a bit darker than cinammon brown. Not quite an "earthtone" but a really great hue. I mostly survived, and by mostly I mean that I really hope that stuff takes paint off my carpet ... stupid inadequate drop cloth...

I'm becoming quite the regular at Home Depot. :)

Update: The paint did indeed come out of my carpet, quite quickly and easily in fact. Something called "Goof Off" took it right out. Room pictures to come soon!

"Things will all work about the way they should. It is just the transitions that are stressful"

Every once in awhile, there's pearls of wisdom...

In case you haven't heard:

FREE PHONECALLS

Skype is free to download and use. I've had it for a long time. Previously, you could only talk for free to other Skype users through their computers. Now, though, it's free to call out to landlines and cell phones as well (within US and Canada).

All you need is a mic and speakers on your computer. I have some, but they're quite up to the task. When I improve this, you will all hear from me soon! Especially those of you in Nashville, California, Mississippi, Vancouver, Toronto, Edmonton ....

Note that it says, only good until Dec 31, 2006.

Woo-hoo!

So, since grandma's sick, it's not the best time for me to be headed to Nashville. (Yes, that's my grandma - my dad's mom, 80 years old, living out in California, recently checked into a nursing home. Bit confusing in the last post. At her current rate, she won't make it past Christmas. She's just lost the will to go on, it seems.)

Back here at home, where I suddenly find myself without May 2-4 plans, I've been asked to help start an event planning company. Yoga retreats for one, international event planning (mainly weddings) for another. Same company - just branching out into various retreats. Not sure whether or not it's the best plan, but perhaps pouring myself into something productive (and fun, and lucrative) might be a good idea. Currently brainstorming on branding, image, logos, names and such, and then it's time to get a business plan together. It will be something more low-key and easy to manage than my last endeavours, so likely easier to get off the ground. Still, interms of May 2-4, I'd love to do something a bit more relaxing and healing than work, work, work... ideas?

Not that my larger endeavours have died, of course, but one can only do so much with a broken heart... more on the optimistic side soon enough!

Sounds like I will indeed be going to Nashville this weekend, perhaps Friday through Tuesday. If you're there, look me up!

Also, in yet another unfortunate turn of events, I got news from Dad yesterday that his mom is not doing so well. He's been in SLO lately helping her check into a nursing home, which is where I called her yesterday to wish her happy mother's day. Apparently she's not eating very much? If you're in the family, give her a call if you haven't already. We should chip in and get her some flowers, too.

Saturday, I went to help out at the RARE organic farm in Cambridge. It's been awhile since I've volunteered on an organic farm, but it's still a wonderful thing to do. And it's huge, too - touted as Canada's largest urban green space, there are some 800 acres involved in the charity-driven property. Beautiful view, too.

I planted broccoli and lettuce, and did some weeding. Between myself, Mark Daaldarop (friend and chief intern), Heather (runs the farm) and two high school kids working on their required 40 hours of community service, we likely planted 500 broccoli plants, a few hundred lettuces, and got some other good work done as well. Very, very cathartic to get out on the good earth and really do some tedious, humble work. We had good weather for it, too.

There's a story in all this, but I won't say now ... perhaps later ... very interesting farm, it is.

I went to mass yesterday morning at St. Jerome's, for the first time in many years. Some familiar faces - Fr. Jim Link led the mass, and I believe I was sitting next to the Higgins family - but many unfamiliar ones as well. Full church, though. I bet that many people still remember my mom (happy mother's day!) from her time as choir leader.

All in all, it was a great service, and I especially liked the sermon from Fr. Jim. He talked about a counselling course that he had taken, having to face his own issues as part of the process. One particularlly illuminating story about a priest he had once had a conflict with, and then he called in some help from Jesus, learned to forgive, and when he later encountered that priest he gave him a big hug.

Let's just say it was a very timely sermon, considering what I've been through lately. Taking it to heart as much as possible.

Also interesting was one part from the petitions, the parts where they ask the congregation to pray for those with children, those sick, etc. One of the petitions was praying for those in positions of power and influence, particularly those in the media, asking them to make the right decisions.

Went to a BBQ at Pat and Lauren's last night, it was good times. Neal, Heramb, Lauren, Pat and I and a whole truckload of their Oakville friends. Good times, watched Ottawa lose out of the playoffs, then the lot of us went on to dancing at FUBAR. Can't say that I'm terribly impressed at the renovations since it was Louie's (but then, was anybody terribly impressed with Louie's in the first place?) but it was GREAT TO GO OUT DANCING! Good times, yeah.