Persistent Illumination

• "What program are you in?"
  
• "Where do you live?"
  
• "Where do you work?"
  
• "Are you seeing anyone right now?"

• "I've wanted to be a nurse since I was seven years old."
  
• "East C, baby!"
  
• "My next co-op job is at RIM..."
  
• "Yes, I've had a boyfriend since I was in OAC..."

• "Engineering wasn't what I thought it would be. I'm thinking of switching into science, but I'm not so sure..."
• "I had a house with some friends for the fall term, but we had a big fight this summer and I don't want to live with them anymore..."
• "I really, really need a part-time job this term. Do you know of anywhere?"
• "Well, I'm kind of seeing a couple of people right now..."

Yes, I have heard all these responses in my time, and no, none of them are mine. I bring this up because there is one question that has repeatedly been asked of me lately, and I find that I have frustrated a great deal of people with my answers. The question, of course, is:

• "What are you going to do next year?"

The answer, of course, is "I don't know." Now, I've since upgraded my answer to "Well, I have something that I'm working on, but I don't want to talk about it just yet ... but otherwise, I don't know."

Friends and peers have responded with downturned eyes, perhaps hiding disappointment and perhaps not wanting to have to give me the "Andrew you need to get on with your life" lecture that my parents are so fond of giving me.

Some have acted a bit surprised, not hearing the expected, "Well, since I'm so political it's off to Ottawa now to try and become the next Prime Minister of Canada..." Note to you all: I'm an American citizen. I'll never, ever be the next Prime Minister of Canada. (But then, a few years ago I would have said that Arnold Schwarzenegger would never, ever become the next President of the United States of America, but now we're not so sure ... but, I digress...)

With this long introduction, here are the two main reasons why I'm not joining the job market just yet:

1. Dad. When I enrolled in University, he offered the advice of "Do whatever you would do if you had all the money in the world." Now, this is no excuse to be lazy. No, if I were lazy, I would be off in Tahiti sipping on Mai Tais or some such nonsense, not sweating out the end of a long degree here in the 'loo.

No, if I had all the money in the world, I would still have wanted to teach kids about technology, which I am grateful to have the chance to do this summer with Engineering Science Quest. Plus, I'll never get paid this kind of money to play with kids ever again. JobMine, Monster.ca, Workopolis.com - these are not going anywhere. They can wait.

If I had all the money in the world, I would also have spent a summer or two challenging myself up in the wilderness of Northern Ontario, planting trees. This body has seen bliss unexperienced by many in Western society, and these two hands have planted over 100,000 trees in about three months (over the course of two seasons). No small feat, that. If I left this earth tonight, it would still be a great contribution.

If I had all the money in the world, I would also have dedicated a healthy portion of my maturing life to politics and civil service. Here in the microcosm of life at UW, I have dedicated more than my fair share of service to my community, collecting a nod of recognition or two along the way, and having enjoyed the privilege of interacting with some absolutely fantastic leaders.

2. The thing is, I don't have all the money in the world. True, I have learned to enjoy the smaller things in life, so I can get by for a great time on a great little. Yet one of the greatest luxuries we are afforded as human beings, especially in Western society, is the luxury of choice. Instead of dedicating my life to eking out an existence in the maze of post-grad life, I'm going to take a shot at something a bit different first. A life more of my own making, a life lived more on my own terms. I've seen too many people disillusioned with the realities of their choices, and I'm going to try a new path now.

There was a moment today, as I sat on a hilltop on my last day ever of part-time UW work, where the skies were ripped open for me and I really just wondered if it was going to be possible to bring this all into reality.

Will it work? I have much of the knowledge, and I am humble and resourceful enough look for help when needed. I almost completely lack the financial resources, but I am weekly discovering new venues to bring this into reality. I do have the drive, the vision, the idea. Equally as important, I am beginning to receive support from peers and others who are helping to shape this vision into something so much more than it ever could have been on my own.

So, no, I'm not going to work as the second assistant marketing coordinator to some company that I've never heard of before. Not just yet. I'm not going to jump headlong into a mater's degree, just because "that's what you do next." That will come soon enough, when I have taken a bit of time to really decide what I want to do with that new part of my education. No, next comes something a bit more fun, though I fully recognize that it may remain little more than a dream by the time I am done with it.

But then, what's life if not for the living? If I completely fail, I will still know that I have done my best. And world, be warned: never underestimate the drive of a seasoned tree planter. If anybody knows how to overcome an obstacle along an independent path, it's a treeplanter.

So, stop asking. I'll be fine. I'm graduating with a degree in psychology, for goodness sake. If anybody should be exempt from answering the automatic questions that we human beings ask of each other, it's we psych majors. (And the Buddhists, but again, I digress...)

No, I'm still Andrew - I still enjoy learning, living, loving and laughing, working hard and playing hard, taking time for the smaller things along the way while striving towards bigger and bigger goals. Yes, there's still going to be a wicked party at my house this Friday, and I'm still going to hang out with the bigwigs the following week, and with genius children the week after. Just don't expect to sum me up by the answer to that one little question quite yet. At least, not until I give you an answer. And if it works, what an answer it will be...